For most of us, past is never a pleasant experience. If past has been haunting you; it's time you take care of it. I will not ask you to forget your past, as it is really difficult; but yes, you can always avoid any thoughts that takes you back to your worst life.
Living a life that you have always wanted to live- is a great way to know that, you don't live in your past anymore. Still the impact is so deep; that the damages remain visible.
If you want to heal the pain of the past, learn to compare the events from your present. Be free of the past, and you can move on and enjoy a happy and peaceful life.
I had many ugly experiences in the past and never wanted to look back or have those memories back in my life. But the nagging pain of those dreadful memories kept blocking my happiness. I was not being able to enjoy my present life completely. Still there was emptiness; and a huge burden of guilt and failures from past!
Six ways to know that you have painted your past with a beautiful present:
You have found your love and have agreed to marry the person who loves you more and cares for your feelings. You know from your experiences that; it is important for you, your partner and specially for the kids to have a healthy marriage life. You are conscious about fights, arguments and any kind of relationship violence; that it can cause serious damage to your marriage and kids.
Marriage isn't just about you and your partner, but also about a 'home' where there should be love, care, dependency, need for each other and lots of trust and respect for each family members.
Your childhood may not have been good and beautiful, but you have painted a beautiful and love-filled life for your kids. You know what you couldn't get and achieve; you will always have it available for your kid (s).
You were silent, scared, neglected and lonely; but you are teaching your kids to be confident of their capabilities, to be brave, bold and being open about any problems in their life.
Maybe your student life was a total failure or you never excelled academically, but you have achieved enormous experiences from past; and now you are following your dreams. You are doing what you have always wanted to do. Today also sometimes you fail in your attempts, but you know how to work hard to achieve the rewards, because you are doing something that you always to do and you love doing it!
You had spilled many personal secrets to your 'close' friends, and they never kept it a secret. You were always judged and was never understood! Now you know whom you should be friends with, and to whom you can reveal some personal information. At present, you have few good friends whom you can trust and accept them in your life.
5. Social life
May be you were forced to attend certain events and gatherings, that you never wanted to go. May be you had to sacrifice certain priorities to be present in such places, where you were entertaining and pleasing others- unhappily; but now you know where you should be present and where you should not! No more compromises at the cost of your family and kids. No more masking the 'pleasing' personality.
Society is made of different kids of people and therefore being socially responsible doesn't always mean- listening and agreeing to others all the time. Sometimes you need to make a conscious choice.
6. Health and Peace
With the simplification and understanding of life comes inner peace and harmony. You have made certain conscious decisions to stay healthy and peaceful; either by learning your character and the strengths and weaknesses. You know why and when chaos touches lives and family.
You have learned the trick of -"accept and let go." All the negatives from the past- like; something someone said and or did was always in your mind and heart, and you accepted it. The moment you accepted the fact, it started losing power and slowly all negative thoughts started flowing out from your life.
Choosing to live in the past not only robs you of enjoyment today, but robs you of truly living. Live in present and love your today, and completely soak yourself in the present moments. Live every bit of it, just like there was no yesterday and there is no tomorrow. Whatever is there- just this day!
Embrace your every day and stay optimistic. You had no control over your past, but your 'today' is completely yours to make it better for tomorrow.