Sunday, January 25, 2015

Tone of your thoughts: what it looks like!

"Thoughts come and thoughts go; but we go on forever." Have you ever tried to understand your thoughts? Where do they come from and why? What drives them to us? Why even we should care about them?

I think we should; because thoughts are our inner voices. Voice of our heart and mind; that is trying to focus on different things at the same time! Some necessary decisions, and some unwanted traps- that are fighting to have equal attention in a day- a week- or may be  in our everyday life!

Most of the times; thoughts are either our dreams- that is screaming possibilities or impossibility, some are our decisions, some are fear about tomorrow, some are frightful memories from yesterday, some are also our unfulfilled wishes and expectations; and some are the thoughts of humiliation, guilt, regrets, failures and rejections.

So imagine the kind of pressure; our mind goes through, when we have to deal with such thousands of thoughts at the same time! I am sure; we don't even get a minute to decide the kind of thoughts; that hit our mind. Whether they are good or bad; or positive or negative!

'Knowing' what we are thinking and why; can help us- realize the kind of thoughts we have in our mind; most of the times! Next time when similar circumstances develop; we can be careful and stop thinking 'negative' right there!

I would like to share one of such examples from my life. Recently I had developed a nagging fearful thought about my life in the coming days. I was afraid of some unexpected circumstances- that may not even happen. I was restlessly afraid by thinking;"what if my thought comes true!" The force of thinking what will happen if it is true was so intense that; I started feeling nervous and restless. "I couldn't help  stop it anyway!"

That's when I decided,"I will do everything I can, to get over this fear." I was sure that; most of the times- such fears are just the mirage of our mind, and nothing is going to happen like that!"

"I tried everything I could;  to avoid any more thoughts about it." Unfortunately nothing was helping me to calm down!

After continuous effort; I was able to find these solutions; that helped me control 'that' negative thinking of my mind. I realized:

  1.  Thoughts are random thinking of mind. It will never come true!
  2. I can always share my such 'negative' thoughts with the family member I trust- who can give me strength and courage to know,"it's a mere sudden thought, and there is no truth in it." "But now that you have developed it in your mind; stay prepared. Pray before God that, you never want this to happen in your life. So God! Please continue to shower your blessings upon us."
  3. I can always visit the place of worship- and just offer my prayers. "I always find it peaceful to visit temple and sit in silence before God and let Him know, my purpose of visit today. Why I am scared and confused!" This always helps!
  4. I can directly talk to the person, I have been thinking about. "About the unseen circumstances, about promises, about my thoughts. "It feels like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders- when I speak my thoughts."
  5. I can always go to a senior experienced person (I know), or to my parents for seeking their advice and suggestions.
  6. I can simply pick up the phone and call my best friend(s); and share my thoughts. Listen to her thoughts and tell 'her' about mine. Exchanging worries and problems- always makes us peaceful and relaxed.
  7. I can just go out for a low-budget shopping or engage my thoughts in any outdoor activities- I love!
  8. Lastly, I can always remind myself- "life is a sum of good and bad thoughts; but it is completely my responsibility to give space to the kind of thoughts in my mind. No negative thought can share my mind and heart- if I don't want to!

"Think the way you have never thought before- the positive way." 

Once I was able to not 'fear' my thoughts anymore; I could see my purpose; I could have a clear mind and clear view of the reasons- that gave birth to such 'negative' thoughts in my mind.

I was able to understand the 'tone' of my thoughts; and decided; to take control of it.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Feeling Depressed Today- Try Doing This!!

This is one of my older posts; and is all about Looking good and Feeling good.....Felt like sharing with you all, as I have removed my other blog- where this was published. 

I found a very good way of defeating the feeling of depression and loneliness. 

Try ‘song chatting’ with your good friend, who has a similar choice in music. This will help you overcome your anger and stress. ‘Music is always a healthy way to reduce your stress levels’- I have always read this. When I actually applied this rule to my life, I learned that this is the easiest way to combat frustration, but provided, you know your friend’s like/dislike in music beforehand. Just don’t bump into any friend and ask her to discuss songs, movies with you. Respect your friend’s choice. You may not like the song, she shares the link with you, but be polite to reply her that, ‘it’s a good one’. She will be happy to know that, you understand her feelings too and this will make you feel aware and peaceful.

Stress and Anger Management sounds very theoretical, and may not be interesting to practice them always, but such easy small steps can improve your present conditions. Rather than swinging along with your emotions, learn to take control of them from the beginning. 

Find small easy ways to ignore your negative thoughts. Learn to destroy your anger, depression or frustration.  I have discovered few inane ways to do this. Would like to share with you all:

  1.  Try to ‘song chat’ with a friend.
  2. Keep yourself busy in cleaning your favorite place in the house (e.g. Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, kid’s room, store room, closet or may be your garden).Initially it is likely to feel bored, but as it has been your favorite area in the house, you will love taking care of it with love and concentration.
  3. Watch your favorite movie song, dance song and start jumping and grooving. Include your kid(s) into the dance fun.
  4. Try spending time and arranging your cosmetics, beauty products, jewelry, favorite accessories. I get so much satisfaction when I spend time looking at my fashion stuffs. I love to clean my Closet, Clothes, Shoes, Jewelry and Beauty Products, especially when I am feeling very low and depressed. This gives me a positive energy to dress up beautifully or look beautiful.
I get elated by the thought that, I have so many more things to use and be myself. I get my inspiration back to laugh and stay happy. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

Mother to her Daughter: Journey from being a friend to a teacher

 A mother is the best friend to her daughter. She knows her emotions. She knows everything, because she is aware that 'history is repeating'. A daughter needs her mom; not just when she is born, but always; even after she becomes a mother. 

I am a daughter; and a mother to a daughter. Every woman starts her journey - as a daughter. This is why they are so special. I will never want my daughter to have the same life- as mine; rather I would wish more happiness and success for her. I want to be her best friend as well her 'guru,' and teach her about all the ups and downs in the coming days. 

The bond between mother and daughter is tender yet strong. I have always seen that most of the times; a woman is responsible for creating problems for another woman! But in mother-daughter relationship; they are nothing- but friends!  And the bonding is so pure and special.

As mothers' we need to understand their needs - that grows and expands with them. Sometimes there comes the generation gap problems; but I would not see it as a problem; rather another reason to see things differently. A little more understanding and trust can make your daughters confident about sharing their 'every' problems with you. From the early childhood, create a bridge of communication (between you two) - that will never break nor can be destroyed- whatever may be the circumstances!

 Mothers are the best teachers. They know every possible ways to take control of their kid (s). If you are still not an experienced mother as it sounds, do not panic! You are soon going to learn the tricks. More than books, advises, articles; what helps is the personal experience with your kids. You tend to learn and become experts as you move along the journey of motherhood. 

    Motherhood gets serious and more responsible as your daughter (s) grow. They need to be treated with tenderly care than boys. Mothers should become friends to them, than being a nagging or a serious mother. That's when a teen or a grown-up daughter will be your 'best friend' and will feel comfortable to share everything with you.

   Here are few of the tips every mother should teach their daughters, as they grow up-

  1. Teaching Your Daughters To Speak Up.
  2. We are not Perfect, We are Parents: Pick up Your Parents' Good Qualities and Trash the Bad ones!!!
  3.  Never use words like; I am lonely, emotional, sensitive, depressed, I have family problems etc. to introduce yourself to anyone.
  4.  Often tell you Daughter: 'I Love Your Father and he Loves Me Too! 
  5. Mother: Never say 'sorry' if it's not your fault. It is a sign of weakness. 
  6. Daughter! I am your Mother today, but tomorrow I might be another Daughter's Mother-In-Law. If I am trying to be a good mother, I may also want to be called as a good Mother-in-law. So, please make sure you remind me my good words and promises. You remind me to do better  and be better; because most of the times, a woman happens to hurt another woman's feelings as soon as we switch roles. 
  7. Take time to choose your friends. 
  8. Many a times you will get stuck in finding answers, to many questions. That’s when- Believe in Yourself, Trust God and Trust your Inner Voice. 
  9. People will know your parents and family through you. So always think, rethink before you decide upon something.
  10. Women symbolize love and care, so always love, respect and care for others, but do not  sacrifice your self-respect. Never try to please anyone.

As I see my daughter growing big everyday; I am kind of developing a fear- fear of losing her someday. Fear of not having her beside me. Fear of the world and people; she is going to face some day! More than that;I fear of the facts; I am supposed to tell her- by the time she reaches her age as a woman. What if my love for her, holds me back from showing her the true picture of this society! What if I fail in letting her know- what a'woman' means to others' in this world. Many more things to do and show my 'angel'- before I rest in peace forever! But I am going to hold my emotions, and not let them influence her to become weak or scared any day! 

Teach your daughters today- that the world outside 'you' is very different. And we as women are very vulnerable to fall into the trap called- emotions! Being emotional is good, but being ruled by them is dangerous. Tell her that,"I am not just your mother; rather a guide that will always follow you; if required I will be beside you to hold your hand and give you the courage to fight back!"

Important lessons that you teach your daughter today- is definitely going to be carried forward. She will teach 'her' daughter exactly the same  way- she was taught and guided. So let the legacy of being 'worth as a woman' continue! 

    Sunday, January 11, 2015

    Am I worth enough to be noticed!

    This morning, I went through many good posts- starting from self-worth, advantages or disadvantages of social networking sites; from funny to satirical experiences, comparing behind-the-scene 'self' image with other's highlighted image, from responses acknowledging one's "worth" to comments asking- to 'follow back.'

    Don't know why; but while reading these posts, I was trying to weigh myself.  I placed myself poorly in the comparison scale- that didn't have any readings! I was  immersing myself into comparisons and stacking reasons that was enough to not recognize my self-worth

    Do I sound familiar? 

    A little pinch of dissatisfaction is sufficient to bring down all you spirits, and efforts- you have been putting into your writings, blogs or in managing your fan pages. Such moments trigger anger, and endless reasons for not doing what you have loved doing in all these years!

    I am sure: nobody was born famous and known! May be they were born with some inbuilt qualities that helped them in their endeavor- to be a successful blogger or a writer. But trust me, it takes a lot of your interest, curiosity, hard work, dedication and lots n lots of trust in your capabilities.

    Are you one among them; who keeps their eyes and heart pinned to the comment box or to the like button- wishing that their published post gets noticed! I dare to accept that, "I am one among them too!" 

    When there are some days like; I receive no visit on my blog- for some of the posts, I feel disheartened and rejected. Such events force me to  think- that writing is not my cup of tea, and I should stop it right here! 

    Rejections are not easy to accept. So are the failures!

    The burden of past rejections and negative comments - about my writing skills constantly came back and reminded me of my fears; but I decided, "I will face my fears and will find out the results." Glad I did! Since then I started taking baby steps towards 'writing.' I am proud to say; "I have survived failures, and never gave up." I learned the hard way!  

    "I am still not a pro; but I am learning and improving everyday."

    "My dream will definitely meet the reality, one day!

    I believe we all need to acknowledge and value self-worth! It definitely takes time to feel confident or 100% sure about your capabilities! 

    Belittling yourself is not nice! When we are not sure about ourselves; doubt and comparison takes over our mind and heart. Whatever we do, doesn't seem to be fit for us. This also happens when we don't look upon ourselves - in a positive way. 

    Try to look your best - as if nobody else is beautiful than you! But don't develop ego! Just have a 'positive' attitude towards; what you do in life, or how you look. 

    Every time you seem to be in a state; where you doubt your self- worth, remind yourself that, you just have one life. A life that is going to give you hundreds of chances to - be 'you,' to think- what others' cannot! To create what others' never had an idea about! To inspire lives (doesn't matter just one life or too many!), to encourage hearts- that are sad and sulking. 

    Share your stories and experiences. Who knows it might attract someone or many- to live a life with purpose and happiness.

    I learnt from my everyday experiences that; "nothing should stop us or distract us from doing- what we have always dreamed of! Not even zero responses because we are sure to find wisdom (about blogging/writing), and know all the tricks some day! 

    I am following my dreams; and that is more than enough to continue doing what I am doing now; or who I am today. Whether I get noticed or not- will never be the reason to bring down my enthusiasm and hard work. 

    I don't want to complain tomorrow and feel regretful the whole life; thinking that- I never tried, never took risks, never listened to my inner voice;  or could never prove that- I can! 

    Wednesday, January 7, 2015

    Bites of Inspiration for Everyday Living

    We all need a bite of "inspiration," to start the day and go to bed peacefully at night; and also to wake-up happily and charged next morning! 

    I read somewhere,"life is beautiful when you are laughing." So true! When we are happy in true sense; we see beauty everywhere. We feel motivated and inspired to live more and do more. 

    Finding ways to inspire our everyday life may seem tough, but a little effort and practice can make it simpler. One of the ways, I live inspired is by finding things to do- that brings me joy and peace. 

    Attract happy thoughts; from the time you leave your bed in the morning. Sometimes thinking happy may seem difficult, but when you decide doing good for yourself and for the people you love, you will learn to live a happy life!

    Draw inspirations from others. Try to focus on the good side of people and friends.  Discard what looks bad! Ignore who do not think you are of any worth. I have many such relationships in my life- that I guess it will never get better. Not even tomorrow, or in the coming days. But that does not mean, I am at fault! I cannot sit and feel sad about it, nor I can alone make it better! I can only hope; things will get better some day!

    I wish we can find solutions to all problems; but this does not mean- we will stop living! Life is a beautiful purpose (itself). You are alive for a reason and live that reason rather feeling bad for the things that's not under your control.

    Find answer to questions like; what happiness  looks like and why you need it? Who will be affected if you stay unhappy and miserable? 

    I believe; inspiration is everywhere. All we need to do is grab it and include in our life. From morning until I hug the bed at night; I hunt for reasons to keep my spirits up and high. Anytime during the day, I feel sad or angry (about someone or something), I try to shift my focus and get busy in "inspiring" myself. I read blogs, take photographs, write, watch my favorite shows, do dishes, do laundry, cook my favorite foods; and many more such things, that keeps me busy and "useful" in my life. I try not to feel anything, rather just do and stay busy. But sometimes I guess; keeping yourself busy is not enough to inspire; then what can we do to feel it everyday?

     I would say- practice

    Practice looking at the good things in life. Practice picking up your interests, hobbies and dreams- that you have left halfway. Practice living a fulfilled satisfactory life everyday; by avoiding the "sources" that turns your enthusiasm and possibilities upside down!

    I have been practicing 'staying inspired,' since the day I realized- my happiness is important for me and my  family. I understood that; my emotions can only get better once I live a meaningful life; every single day! Living with a smile on my face and in my heart too! I was tired of living a burdensome life- with complains, guilt, failures, past wounds and "past me."

    I realized I am in complete charge of my life and nobody; yes! nobody can make me happy and peaceful, except me! "It is only me; that can add a purpose to my living." Life is most of the times; full of blames and unwanted expectations. But if we learn to shut them out of our life- we earn mindfulness and a purpose!  

    I try every possible ways to stay motivated and inspired everyday. And after being so, I added the following things into my life:

    1. Confidence- There was a time when I had no idea; about who I am and what I can do, but in the present day I am totally sure about my capabilities and the qualities within me. 

    2. Gratitude- I never forget to spend some time in gratitude, prayer, reflection,  etc. as I thank God for all the good things he has brought my way. 

    3. I Connected with Nature- Nature plays a very important role in shaping our  thoughts, clearing our negative mind and in bringing everyday inspiration to  life. These magical moments were missing in my life; until I realized the  importance of nature's miracle! Days like when I am very upset and or  doubtful, I take some time out and go for a walk, or just sit quietly and observe  the serenity. Feel the bright side of the day and connect with nature     unconditionally.

        Nature's beauty and the natural gifts all around us; is so inspiring and powerful  that; you will definitely end up writing few lines, or capturing the mesmerizing  beauty in your camera. I always feel inspired to write more when I spend some  quiet time amid nature. I have also ended up adding photography to my everyday task!

    4. I became a voracious reader- I was able to develop a heavy appetite for books and reading. Nothing can be more inspiring than reading a book or inspirational quotes and stories, that introduce us to the magical wonders of  life.  Words are magical! I start my day reading blogs and stretching out to books and magazines; and end my day by scribbling my learning and new  topic ideas for my next articles.

      I also pen down all the plans and to-do lists for the coming days. This inspires me to start and end my next day successfully and purposefully.

    5. Creating Magical Happy Moments for Kids- Definitely my kids are my inspiration. They inspire me everyday to  write journals (where I freeze their everyday life, win, loss, achievements, proud moments, future predictions,  and endless emotions), to write experiences from life and relationships. I was able to create happy and beautiful moments for my kids, from the day I learned  to inspire my everyday! Now I love watching them at play or doing their tasks patiently! I learnt appreciating their spirits and enthusiasm.

    6. I laugh more now- I find reasons to laugh a lot everyday! Even when I am  hurt or sad, I continue to laugh with my kids. I try to have fun moments with  them; and if nothing else, I try watching a funny movie/ video and laugh more. This prepares me for the upcoming changes and challenges in my life and  career. I start my day with smile and giggles and try to end it the same way:)

    7. A complaint free life- Problems will never leave you; until you learn to deal  with them! So I decided to be more present in my life and focus on the good  things, rather than complaining about the negative reactions and happenings. I  was able to inspire my life without comparing it with others. 

      Now, problems can never prevent me from living my life purposefully!

       Inspiration may seem to be a difficult word, but finding one around you is never   impossible. Keep your chin up in the most challenging days of your life. Find a  reason that brings smile on your face; that motivates you to reach out to your  dreams! Make your days brighter; because you matter!

      Be Yourself! Strive to make every moment  beautiful and to make your day meaningful. Do not forget to compliment and show gratitude  towards all the "beautiful "things, you have received in your life.  

    Wednesday, December 31, 2014

    Bye and Welcome: it's time to celebrate.

    The last day of the year definitely can be special to us; just to remind the good days and the bad days of the whole year. I request you all to just remember the good things, that the year got you. 

    I guess, the "best day" to show your gratitude towards this beautiful life. Bad days are mostly unpredictable, but you have complete control over making them good! So why not take this opportunity to thank life and God for everything we received this year; and welcome another "new" year into our life!

    I believe whether you are happy or sad; angry or depressed; do not miss celebrating the new year's eve. We should celebrate the last night of the old year, and welcome the dawning of a new year.

    Prepare and eat your favorite foods, wear your favorite clothes, look beautiful and laugh a lot.  Celebrate with your family, count your blessings, recollect all the good memories, pray for another good year in your life, feel happy and blessed that; you are going to get another opportunity; one more chance to live and achieve your dreams! Do not feel sad about what you lost this year. You can achieve many more in the coming year. God has good plans for you. Your sorrows and worries are going to end very soon!

    So let's smile and welcome 2015!

    I also take this opportunity to thank all my readers, fans, friends, followers and blogger friends and my family that has followed and constantly inspired me to continue this journey! Thank you for letting me have this voice and courage to be "me" and to do, what I am doing today(or always wanted to do). My blog and every words in it;  represent my strengths and most importantly; shows the courage to voice my opinions-  and live and express life in a different way. 

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart - for all the love and support over this past year:) 

    My blog (s) means a lot to me and thank you for being it's reader! I know my purpose is taking flight, when I hear from you that; my words have inspired you to know your life and it's problems! Living positively is definitely not easy than said. I know it better! But with you all by my side- we can do it together. I improve one step and then extend it to you through my articles and writings. And one day we together will make our life really better than yesterday. 

    With this wish- I would like to wish you all a very happy, beautiful, purposeful and prosperous new year. I wish 2015 brings you plenty of happiness, peace and courage to fulfill your dreams. May you get a life- you always wished for!

    Love and Blessings

    Monday, December 29, 2014

    Love the way you are

    There will be many reasons why you don't like yourself, but when did you last find a reason to love and accept the way you are! Accepting self in the critic way is so easy, but have you ever tried listing the reasons why you are awesome just as "you."

    “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    We spend half of our life by trying to find out- the good factors in us; and rest half is spent comparing them with others. Why it is important to compare your strengths and or weaknesses with others. Is it really so difficult to know who you are as a person- both from the inside and out! 

    Everyone is made up of some good and bad qualities; then why sometimes we feel that; we are the only unfortunate ones! Why we depend on others to tell us that, "we are beautiful, we are brilliant, we have extra good qualities; etc." Does this really means, you are beautiful only when someone tells you, and otherwise not! 

    When we learn to accept ourselves, we realize that; our bad habits or certain bad qualities does not make us bad and unacceptable. Nobody is perfect! 

    "With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world." 
                                                          - Dalai Lama

    A new life dawns when we realize things.  

    Unless you have a clear idea of the reasons; why you should love the way you are, you will never have a peaceful life. You will always feel- you are not perfect and something is missing from your life. No human being is perfect. So are you! But you are definitely "better" in many ways- from others'.

    So be a "shameless lover" of yourself. Nothing is more satisfying than knowing yourself better than anybody! 

    As long as you are not hurting others or being the reason of their sorrow- loving the "imperfect you" is good. Hating yourself won't make you a better person. Learn the reasons why you should change and wish to be better than before. When you know why- your journey to a beautiful life begins. 

    "I always knew, I am weak in many things, but was ashamed of accepting it. May be scared; what people will think about me." But slowly, I practiced facing people- just the way I am! I may be poor in many things, but I am too good in few things too! And nobody knows that better than me. All I did was- started believing in me and my capabilities. This is my life and my fight to let everyone know that- I am no waste! Not a reason for anyone to feel shy about; rather a pride for my family and kids! 
    Thank you for your thoughtful response to my article.... I love to hear from you....
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